I'm stacking all my texts for this sem on the table, and it comes all the way up to my chest when i'm sitting down! :)

After a while, I gave up complaning. Complaining over the same things over and over again, over family, irritating studies, church stuff, human relationships etc. My friends around me are probably already feeling annoyed by the same stuff I grumble about, if those reading know what I mean :)

I just want to say a big thank to everyone who listened. You may not have given any advice, but seriously, it doesn't matter. What mattered was I had people who stood by me.

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Christians, you can continue :) Non-believers, you can still read if you're interested! :)

It's quite sad that I have to admit I had friends who stood by me, but not exactly God. I know He never left, but I probably was walking in circles. I'm still trying to get out of the box I unconsciously drew for myself, but I can tell you it's not going to be easy.

Cell was only me, Rachel and Nigel today. Lols ended up it was sort of like a session for me, half the time the issues brought up was stuff happening in my life :) I said stuff, I heard stuff, and I accepted stuff.

Rachel dear said something that encouraged me alot today. She said she saw me as one of the strongest girl in the whole cell. Something I didn't quite see coming along, something that I've never once gave a serious thought.

If you were to ask me, I don't exactly think I'm strong. Like I mentioned, I love to live in my own world thinking how tough things in life are and like many of you, I struggle to get myself out of bed for school, and I experience the same agony of performing, getting good grades and go with the flow of things when sometimes you just want to be left alone.

But I think I got Rachel's point. Don't find strength from within yourself. Rachel just gave me the affirmation that I'm strong not because of what I did, but because she knew at the end of the day I'll always run back to God for strength. That's why I'm strong. And yes, I haven't been running back recently. It's time to put me, myself, I down and listen more to Him.

Yes, put down that pride. Cast away the doubts and hang on to that something that you believed so much in when you accepted Christ Jesus. Many things we don't understand, but His ways are higher than our ways, his thoughts are higher than our thoughts.

And about the very things that I shared over cell today, I think I'm getting a sense of direction. You too, can see the finishing point if You'll just talk more to the Lord rather than coming to Him with bitterness and unbelief all the time. Because God didn't mean for you to feel all these.

I pray in the son's preciuos name that whoever read this entry will be blessed :)

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness
And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all